Your Authentic Self

Riddle me this: Are you your most authentic self? According to the Webster's Dictionary that I've been leafing through since high school, authentic means "1. that can be believed or accepted; trustworthy; reliable 2. that is in fact as represented; genuine; real". So, when you are out-and-about, fraternizing, schmoozing, dealing with the daily logistics, are you authentic? As a parent, as a partner, as an employee, as a social being - are you true to your authentic self? Whether you are honest or not, a fool or a genius - no matter. You just have to be you to be authentic. If you are outspoken, then be outspoken. If you are kind, then be kind. The challenge is trying to be authentic in every setting, with every group - you get the idea. I've tried it and it's not easy. Try it on for size and tell me how it goes. By the way, check out the kid on stool. I'm pretty sure my nephew Dillon is staying true to his authentic self.

Say It Out Loud

So funny that my last post, referencing my mother's soothing advice, was on her birthday. I didn't consciously think of it on the actual day. But I do strange things with dates when it comes to remembering loss. When she died years ago, it was at the end of January, but I still don't remember which day. I did that intentionally, remaining vague so her death would not be forever associated with one day. Anyhoo, it's fun to write about things you don't get to say during polite conversation. I'm afraid that this blog may head in that direction. I've always been that way, wanting to express, but often repressing, the ideas that most people rarely give voice to. And I don't consider myself a devil's advocate either. Being contrary for the sake of sport isn't really my thing. I feel that my tendency to say what I think and feel keeps me feeling young. But more than that, it keeps me feeling like me. A friend wrote in my high school yearbook, "You are a very unusual person and I respect your individuality!" Why, thank you.

Too good for them

This is my other blog. The blog where I can write about my life as a person, rather than my life as a mother. I like the name, "Not Fully Cooked Yet", because I'm just not done. I've been thinking about relationships... again. When you live in a small town, it's easy to think that everyone likes you. But they don't. So as I tend to do, I observe interactions between people, myself included. And I notice that certain people don't care for me very much. Usually, this doesn't bother me too much, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me at all. And for anyone who keys into that sort of thing, it's downright transparent to read people this way. It's weird to admit, "hey, so and so doesn't care for my sense of humor, or so and so thinks I'm a hypocrite". You then owe it to yourself (that is if you want to come out ego-strong) to consider what your feelings are for that person. Usually you feel similarly towards that person. That's a relief. But if you still don't feel better, it may be time to put into practice that old advice we've all heard from our parents. "You're too good for them." Years ago, my mother often used those words for my benefit. It was comforting. But without her around (she died in 1992), I have to whisper those words to myself. And after all this time, they still work their magic for me.