Splendor in the Grass

My mother was 38 years old when this image was taken. My family rented a lake house during the summer when I was too young to remember. And while I don't recall ever seeing this photo, it was taken while my family was on vacation. Of course, right away, I marvel at how flat her stomach appears just ten months after giving birth to me. 


For the time, I was a late-in-life baby. My brothers were born in 1958 and 1959 respectively, and then there was Martin, the brother I never knew, stillborn, who bridged the span before I came along in 1968. My mother always seemed old to me, but mostly because I was surrounded by friends with much younger parents.  


Seeing this picture of my mother is bittersweet. On the one hand, it reminds me why I'm the kind of mother I am. You see, I do that - I lie on the grass when the sun is warm. I wrestle my dog to the ground and do cartwheels on the lawn. For me, this pose is standard fare. 


She looks relaxed, so carefree. I wonder who held the camera. Was it one of my brothers? Or could it have been my dad? Could he have had the sentimental insight to capture this rare display of my mother's calm, centered connection to her younger self? 


She died when I was 23 and never once did I see her lie in the grass.