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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Sort of Sounds Sort of Smart

I listen to NPR a lot. But it only speaks to the fact that I hate pop music and there is no alternative on my car radio. Even when I have the foresight to tote around a collection of CDs, I tire of them quickly. Heck, I thought I loved PRINCE, but after one listening and skipping through most of the tracks, I am BORED! So I listen to National Public Radio. Usually I hear a program with some experts responding to callers - sound familiar? Don't get me wrong, I really do love it. But I've noticed that many of these super smart experts have developed a habit. I'm convinced it is learned. It had to have started when they heard someone smart, talking about something intelligent, and they noticed the speaker pepper their discussion with the phrasing "sort of".  (After you read this, you will notice it everywhere.) So, because they want to sound smart, they adopt this phrasing habit and throw it in like an overzealous dash of cayenne. But what ends up happening is that they don't sound bright at all. Instead they sound like they haven't developed the vocabulary to express the nuances steeped in their area of expertise. Whatever their reason, they lose me immediately. Like a flash in the pan, I'm once more rocking out like it's 1999. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

Middle Finger

photo credit: Rowan O'Connell
As usual, most of my inspiration comes outside of myself, and sometimes from someone I've actually spawned. Luckily, my children continually offer a rich variety of writing material. Last week, I sat beside Nora (my seven year old) and waited poolside for her swim class to begin. As we sat side by side on a bench, I took her hand into my own and admired the slender fingers topped by her long fingernails. As she named her fingers for me, she took me by surprise when she reached the middle one. She actually called it her spare finger. Whoa!!! "The what?", I interrupted. I couldn't imagine where she might have picked up the reference, and I didn't bother to ask. My guess is that someone, somewhere decided that it was just too dangerous to refer to something exactly as it is. By default, the odd-numbered five digit configuration positions that tall boy smack dab in the middle of all the action. But spare? What the hell is spare about a finger. Just try holding a pencil without the rock steady, ever-present middle finger to lean on. And after you try that, see how far you get with Cat's Cradle.